O' the day - 20250801

In the end, we have to believe that all will be well - right?
Isn't that the very definition of optimism?

O' the day - 20250624

My grandson turns 5 today. Impossible that he's that old - because that means his dad just turned 33. And that I just turned 54. I'm old. I feel every day of my 54 years.

O' the day 20250618

"The sky is leaking; my windshield's cryin'" - a more beautiful analogy I haven't seen in a long while. Loss hits whether we plan it or no; some loss is a net positive as we needed to lose whatever it is we lost. Some is a net negative - we didn't plan it, we didn't want it, we never get over it.

O' the day - 20250617

Mortality is tough. I actively shy away from thinking about it; maybe the lack of inurement is why it hits so hard when I *have* to think about it. When does a person lose enough of themselves that they're no longer the one you remember? What makes you, you? How many personal quirks and attributes need to fall away before there's a stranger in front of you, instead of the parent you once knew?

O' the day - 20240528

Chronic pain is no joke. Not that I think people find it funny, per se, but it's nothing to laugh off as "you're just being hypochondriacal again." When we hurt, we hurt. I envy those that have never dealt with this, and so don't have a clue - "just exercise and eat right - you'll be fine." "I only take Tylenol when I'm dying." "Opiates are the scourge of society." Sigh - you just don't know.

O' the day - 20240523

Thinking today about how fast life is moving, and whether it's truly that more changes are coming our way (societally, technologically) faster than ever, or if it's just a perception as I get older. AI will take over the world; the skills you have now will be obsolete in two years; new generations will change the face of work - is it just the same old song, different lyrics? Media hype? Or something in between reality and conjecture? I'm not sure if I need to be afraid or just keep plugging along.

O' the day - 20240522

Sinus headaches suck. That is all.

O' the day - 20240521

Starting this new habit-former, based on "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. I love the idea, and am hoping this time it will stick. Easier some days than others (although I suppose that's the case with any habit you're trying to build). Not that any of this writing is earth-shattering, but it's a start ...

O' the day - 20240520

Long time, no see! And in re-reading my last post, I feel exactly the same as I did three years ago. I still haven't decided how to deal with burnout, or ennui, or whatever I choose to label it. With aging parents, the choices are more limited than they were even just a few years ago, and remote work options are becoming more, well, remote. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, nor how to tell when I've grown up. Is this an everyman thought, or just me and a select few? It seems to be common per Facebook group chat; perhaps it's an existentially GenX problem, since we were 30 when we were 10 and 10 when we were 50, as the meme goes.

O' the day - 2021.05.18

I'm not sure what to do. Burnout is such a real and ever-present piece of my life, and my response is always, always, always to flee. That's not always an option; I moved a state away and changed jobs to escape it in 2019, but it's only followed me here. Doing something different is not a choice, so learning to live with it is what's now mandated. How do you let things go? How do you do exceptional work while dropping balls? How do you put aside what can't be done in a 24-hour day? How do you say "that's good enough" and really mean it? How are you ever "good enough"? Still struggling through this every minute of every day, and seminars about taking better care of myself, and taking a walk, and being kind to myself aren't helping. I'm lost.

O' the day - 2021.03.01

Guilt ... and regret. Yeah, I know they're not supposed to be part of my repertoire, but they're so familiar ... and so comfortable, if discomfort can be comfortable. At least I know how to feel them.